As someone who recently started dating again after 40 years, I’m here to tell you that dating in real life, particularly after age 60, is nothing like the movies—or reality TV. Unless your reality involves perfect lighting, scripted conversations, and zero mention of aches and pains.

Rom-coms? Adorable. Heartwarming. Full of falsehoods.

In those magical little films, all it takes is one steamy glance across a crowded room, and—boom—soulmates. In reality, it’s more like: he glances, you glance, and then he sneezes into his elbow and you both pretend it didn’t happen. Chemistry can be instant, but love? That takes time.

Also, rom-coms are fond of the “broken soul saved by love” narrative. Like the moment The One shows up, suddenly the clouds part and your emotional baggage folds itself. Newsflash: healthy relationships are two complete people who complement each other—not one being rescued from existential doom by another.

And then there’s the truly wild part: in Rom-Coms, stalking and manipulation get rebranded as “grand gestures.” Sorry, but showing up at someone’s house uninvited, holding a boombox or a ukulele, is not romantic—it’s a red flag with a soundtrack.

Reality TV doesn’t exactly help either. Remember “The Golden Bachelor”? A bunch of mature women practically catapulting themselves at one silver fox in what can only be described as a hormone-fueled group therapy session in cocktail dresses. I watched a few episodes—strictly for anthropological research—but tapped out when it started feeling like a Botox Hunger Games.

And the happy ending? Plot twist: he had cancer, they got married, then divorced shortly after. So basically, ABC gave us a romantic tearjerker and a PSA in one. Millions tuned in, hoping for a golden fairytale. What we got was a reminder that even soulmates need a prenup and a good oncologist.

Then came Netflix’s Later Daters in 2024, promising “six golden singles” navigating modern love and rediscovering themselves. Sounds empowering, right? Until you realize “golden single” is apparently a thing—like a gold record, but with more joint pain. It means you’re attractive, financially stable, and emotionally available. I mean, check, check, and check—but the label still sounds like it came with a glittery promo package and a discounted AARP membership.

Now, Michelle Obama was a producer on that show, so I expected something fresh, authentic, maybe even feminist. Instead, we got mature women in strappy heels and plunging necklines, older men in khakis and Hokas looking like they wandered out of a Costco. And when they meet? The men go full cartoon wolf—mouths open, eyes glued to cleavage like they’ve never seen a bra do its job before. It’s Hot Mama meets Gomer Pyle.

For the record: I do think about what to wear on a date. I aim for cute, not sultry—because cute is sexy. So is emotional maturity, a decent sense of humor, and knowing the difference between “your” and “you’re.” But alas, that doesn’t bring in the ratings.

In the end, finding love after 60 isn’t about dramatic entrances or scripted sparks. Among other things, it’s about connection, clarity, and finding someone who makes you feel good—even on your bad hair days. And honestly, that’s way more satisfying than any rom-com ending.

Photo: By ABC (https://ew.com/tv/the-golden-bachelor-star-gerry-turner-photos-abc/), Fair use (https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=74654608).